Been to Best Buy Lately?

[clutch 1]

I ripped this from Lowtax at www.somethingawful.com, as his server has had issues (but is getting better, thanks to aroma therapy).

 

"I recently read some of the various critical acclaims lavished upon the original Silent Hill, so this weekend I decided to purchase its sequel, appropriately named "Silent Hill 2," for the Playstation 2. After I brought the game home and unwrapped the disc, I soon discovered that it was only compatible with the Playstation 2 game system, dashing my hopes of running it on my CD player or my freezer, which was recently upgraded to have a CD player that really pissed me off fit inside of it. I returned to Best Buy so to purchase a PS2, preparing myself for the hellish inferno that I would soon walk into, a pain that would undoubtedly tear my entire central nervous system apart: that's correct, I'm of course referring to the DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN assault.

 

You see, any Best Buy purchase over 38 cents causes them, by Congressional mandate, to batter and molest you until you eventually agree to purchase a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. The DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN is sort of like a warranty for your warranty; if the hunk of Japanese **** you bought self destructs and vaporizes your entire family within the next 10 decades, Best Buy will refund your money and let you use it to purchase the entire DVD collection of "Carrot Top: Uncut." They will also allow their trained spe[censored]ts, who are neither trained nor spe[censored]ts, repair your defective product or at least force you to stand in line for 90 minutes just so they can say that all the replacement units are sold out and the only store that has any left is 500 miles away and is closed or haunted or invisible or doesn't exist. You will then be escorted out of the store only to have the Nazi Theft Detection System begin beeping like crazy, branding you to the entire store as an evil criminal mastermind who is attempting to build an ICBM control center from Panasonic speakers. And that is in a best case scenario.

 

As soon as I told the Best Buy Storeroom Menace I was interested in a buying Playstation 2, she immediately attacked me with the DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN and launched into the spiel which is imprinted into their DNA the moment they sign the Best Buy employment contract. Having bought a computer at Best Buy before, I had myself braced and ready.

 

BEST BUY STOREROOM MENACE: "Would you be interested in the DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN? It's only $49.99 for 300 thousand million years of service! It protects against-"

ME: (Shrewdly interrupting) "No thanks, I'm not interested."

BEST BUY STOREROOM MENACE: "Oh. Well okay."

 

Now at this point, anybody who has ever bought anything at Best Buy is thinking to themselves, "self, this can't be! This isn't how Best Buy operates! What alternate dimension were you in? They'll firebomb your parents' house before letting you escape without a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN!" There is a bright shiny gold star in store for all of you people who thought this. The Best Buy Storeroom Menace was simply softening me up for Queen Best Buy, the 19-year old acne-skulled corpse that was rotting behind the checkout desk. It was like a good cop / bad cop routine, except they were both bad cops and the question was not if, but when they would begin shoving a broken toilet plunger into my rectum. As the Best Buy Storeroom Menace passed me off to Queen Best Buy, they communicated via telepathy and she was instantly aware of my failure to purchase a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. That's when the pain started.

 

 

Okay, I don't know what's going on in this picture, but I think that lady is in trouble and somebody should probably notify the authorities.

QUEEN BEST BUY: "May I interest you in a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN?"

ME: "No, I-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "It protects your unit against any kind of defects or damage that may occur during your entire lifetime, your children's lifetimes, and their kids' lifetimes."

ME: "I'm not-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "If you were to pick up this Playstation 2 and attempt to engage in *** with it, we'd replace the unit when your bodily fluids cause various parts inside it to short circuit and spontaneously combust."

ME: "Well I'm-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "Everybody is buying a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. Everybody. All the cool kids are doing it. You want to be 'cool,' don't you? You want to be accepted?"

ME: "I thought-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "The Gamecube and... that Microsoft thing (her actual words) are coming up soon, and if you buy a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN then you can bring in your Playstation 2 and trade it in for one! The Gamecube is going to be 400 times more powerful than the PS2 and it will take care of your cat when you leave town!"

ME: "How did you know I had a-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "Let me be honest with you. These Playstation break all the time. I had some guy come into here just the other day, yelling and screaming at us because his Playstation 2 would only play games if it was upside down (her actual words). We couldn't do anything for him because he didn't buy a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. He was stuck with a $299 wad of plastic and metal. Then he was hit by a car and killed in the parking lot. If he had a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN that would've never happened. A. Anderson of Cleveland has a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN and he just won $50,000 in the lottery! G. Johnson of Las Vegas has a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN and his wife was just elected to be the Pope! E. Franklin of Burro Heights didn't buy a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN and he just got AIDS from touching a candy bar vending machine."

ME: "Who's E. Frank-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "Let me tell you the truth: we haven't sold a functioning Playstation 2 in six months. In fact, 99% of the boxes are empty or just contain a lump of rotting potatoes. Sometimes poisonous snakes spring out and kill the owner. We don't even think Playstation 2s exist. You'd be a stupid rat bastard if you didn't purchase a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. Who's your hero?"

ME: "Well my hero is former Orlando Magic center Greg Kite, but-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "Greg Kite would want you to buy a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. He's bought 50 DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLANS. You want to be like Greg Kite, don't you?"

ME: "Yeah, I guess, but-"

QUEEN BEST BUY: (Interrupting) "Listen: we have sharpshooters positioned all around this building. There's no chance of you leaving here alive without a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. Your home address is in our computers. We'll have your place ransacked and looted by the time you cart your fat *** back home. You've got two options here, and they both involve you buying a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. Jesus died so you could get a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN. Terrorists want to destroy America because they are jealous of our freedom to purchase DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLANS. You're not a terrorist, are you? WELL ARE YOU?"

 

At this point I just threw a handful of money at her and ran off shrieking like a violated Japanese schoolgirl. I didn't succumb to her intense pressure of purchasing a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN and her obscenely angry looks reflected this, as they melted a generous portion of the steel pole behind me. Now I don't want to be too harsh on Queen Best Buy since it's not her fault that Best Buy is run by Nazi cyborgs who force all their employees to do a DREADED BEST BUY PRODUCT REPLACEMENT PLAN hard sell on every customer. I didn't get angry at her or make her life hell because it's the Best Buy store policy and their store managers who are to blame for this pain. However, I did learn one important lesson from this experience: all electronics should be purchased online. My computer can't give me the hard sell on any product replacement plans, and if it does, I at least have the luxury of throwing it out a window and into the woods. The same can't be said about many Best Buy employees. At least that's what the judge told me."

 

I would have put the link up to this article, but it will be cycled out by the time some of you see this and it may take a few days to make it to the archive.

[EddiE314 0]

Circuit City was always the worst place for me to go, talk about harassment.

[CrazyKillerMan 0]

Blockbuster really gets to me.

 

"Would you like a rewards membership???....are you sure, it only costs $25 a year. Whens your birthday??? PERFECT!!! Youll get a free rental this month!!! In fact I can use it to take care of your late charges and the fact that you rent alot of DVD's means that you can enter our......blah......blah bla bla blah..."

 

And the last thing i wanna do when im ripped is answer questions.

 

Or canadian tire visa cards. Holy sheet.

 

"No I am a student, I dont want a visa!"

"But this will go towards your total credit if you are accepted, and fi you sign with me today you will recieve a free gift!"

 

heh...the free gift was a crappy day planner about the size of a matchbook. Guess what was throw in the parking lot on the way out.

[Brian Frank 0]

Person calling me: Hello, Mr. Frank. We'd like to offer you a Visa credit card.

ME: I'm not--

Person: Just hold on a second. We offer a $1500 credit limit to students.

ME: I'm not intrested. Don't call me again. *click*

 

 

What part of "I'm not intrested." don't they get? A credit card is the last thing I need right now.

 

Circuit City: Man I hate them too. My little bro bought my friends stereo, still under warranty, off him that was purchased at Circuit City. Something broke, so we took it to CC for repairs. I go to pick it up, and don't see what they fixed. I asked them what they did, which was nothing: They weren't authorized to do the repair, and that we had to ship the stereo--at our cost--down to Texas, for the repairs. This was under warranty.

Other reasons CC blows: They don't have the low prices like they say, the check outs aren't in one location, I never get any help when I actually need it--only when I'm browsing for the hell of it does anybody come up. I don't know why it's so difficult for them to see me when I'm standing by a product for 20 minutes and playing around with it, but have several people ask me if I need help when I'm not even spending a minute looking at something.

Why I've bought anything from them is beyond me.

PCWorld has a real good article on PC sales reps, I should link it if I see it on-line. Circuit City leads the attack of stupid people--go figure.

[INFERNO2000 0]

Hey--I work at Circuit City

 

I needed something to finance my plans of world domination between busy seasons.

 

 

They make commission by selling you those plans.

 

50 cents for the RPP's (telephones, walkmans, etc), about 7.50 for protection plans for everything but PCs, and who knows what for CSP's.

 

That's why they're always harassing you about it.

 

For the record, I won't even mention it, and I never make commission.

 

I don't believe in commission. If you want something, great.

if you don't great. If you want an extended warranty, fine, if not, oh well.

I don't want my income based upon other people's naivety on buying extended warranties. Hell, to me everything is disposable. By the time it breaks, there's something new out that I want instead.

 

My philosophy is to help the customer buy something. Not to sell them something.

I just want them to leave and not come back because of what was sold.

 

So, if you're in the Decatur, IL area, look for me. I won't bother you about a plan. Hell, I'll get fired before I try to sell those in earnest.

 

 

 

I plan on quitting and becoming a techie for the cable company---those @$$Holes are always screwing up computers when they install the cable modems. I always have to go fix them. I'll be the techie everyone wants

[BenChase 0]

I thought I'd give my two cents about Circuit City and telemarketers...

 

I was in the Bellingham, Wa branch of Circuit city about a year ago. I was just browsing around, comparing prices on video cards, etc... There was an elderly couple that was in the main computer section talking to a salesperson about buying a PC. I walked over there to take a look at what they were charging for PCs, and laughed uncontrollably, when I remembered that I could build a system for FAR less. Anyway, the sales person was showing this old couple the best system that they had. I thought it was doubtful that the elderly couple actually needed that much PC, so I decided to stir up some $hit.

 

Me - "Excuse me, but what exactly do you need a computer for? What sort of things do you want to do?"

 

Old lady - "We just want a computer that will let us e-mail our grandson."

 

...at this point..the salesperson was looking nervous.

 

Me - "If that is all you intend on doing, then you do not need this powerful of a computer! All you need is something like this..." (pointing to a nice little celeron system, about $1200 less than the P-III system)

 

...The sales person looked at me like I was the antichrist.

 

Me - "Don't let anyone else tell you that you need anything more than this just for email, they are lying."

 

The old couple thanked me and the sales person walked away, red-faced.

 

Moral of the story:

 

Do not get advice on what you are wanting to buy from a salesperson, they are most often too influenced by commission and perks. Get advice from an expert.

 

 

- Ben

[INFERNO2000 0]

HEre's what you do at Circuit City:

 

walk over to their peripherals dept, and ask one of THOSE people to help you. They don't make commission. WE can't--we're hourly.

 

 

OR better yet, Alienware.

 

**** CC and BB

[Palos 0]

I live in Yurop...no Circuit City or BestBuy here When I was in the US I couldn't find a simple Internet Cafe, so I went to Kinko's, lol.

[AndyFair 0]

Quote:

I live in Yurop...no Circuit City or BestBuy here When I was in the US I couldn't find a simple Internet Cafe, so I went to Kinko's, lol.

There may not be any Circuit Cities of BestBuys in Europe, but in the UK, we have PC World...to those that don't know, PCWorld is owned by Dixons, a large high street electrical/white goods retailer.

Dixons staff are notorious for their complete lack of understanding of anything (not just technical stuff), and their insistence on people buying additional warranty cover (they have been in the news over the last several years regarding complaints of how expensive and useless these extended warranties are!)

Now, take your average high street electrical goods retailer employee, and plonk them into a computer shop...well, I'm sure you get the idea!

What scares me is that PCWorld are branching out from selling all boxed stuff (PCs, soundcards, videocards, software etc) to selling "complicated" stuff like processors, motherboards, memory and the like...I can't help but imagine the bullsh*t that the staff will start spouting...I can just imagine it:

"So, your PC is running slowly? Well for a start, have you thought about upgrading the processor? You have an Intel at the moment? Well, can I suggest that you try AMD this time around? All you need to do is swap the processors over, and your PC will run much faster than before. No, no need to upgrade anything else."

Hmm...

AndyF

[Brian Frank 0]

It's scary when stupid people try to sell stuff to ignorant people. I wonder if these places actually make sure their employees know what the hell they're talking about. We all know that the last time AMD and Intel were interchangable was during the ol Socket 7 days.

 

"I have RAMBUS. Can I put one of them AthlonXP's in with my Pentium 4"

"Sure, no problem. While your at it, you'll see a performance boost from some DDR RAM. You can drop it in, no problem." "Oh, okay" "Sure, no problem" ;(

[Palos 0]

You're right Frankie...It just makes you wonder when some huge business like Dell, or Gateway warn everyone about future market losses (basically they forecast they'll sell less). Let's just say that this could be an effect of the average Joe Bloggs (UK) (John Doe US!) having more knowledge over computers than yesterday.

 

Lol, basically he figures out that you come out much cheaper if you put together your own system rather than buying some ready made, OEM stinking package.

 

I hope that the big guns will soon learn NOT to subestimate the power of knowledge of the consumers. The days when computers were seldom and costed a fortune are over. You still find sad cases of salespeople ripping poor customers off, but you can be sure that once they realise, they will never step foot in their sad-a$$ store AGAIN.

[INFERNO2000 0]

I think I'm going to quit my job at CC.

 

I'm tired of the managerial bullshit and conspiricies.

[donald 0]

to the guy mentioning PC World, I went for an interview when they were building there store nere me, and as soon as I said

 

"Well i am a NT4 MCP with a HNC in Computer Support and Working on my HND before doing a degree course" they said "Well thanks for coming but we dont hire anyone who knows anything about PC's"

 

I must admit I was shocked.

 

PC World and Dixons (there Owners) are the worst company for Support they force you to take there warrenty's and then fail to honour them.

 

I Know someone with a PC that was purchased in Dixons the motherboard has been replaced 50 times due to problems, the last time the engineers call out sheet listed the parts and prices PC World payed for a new motherboard £5000 for 1 motherboard, they could of given him a new PC for <£1000 that was 10 times more powerful (he had a Pentium 200 MHZ)

 

My Mum bought me a laptop from PC World last year for my course, she took the warrenty everything was fine for a year and then 2 weeks ago the entire motherboard literlly exploded when I plugged it in

 

After phoning them I was told "Umm that Laptop is a Desktop we dont sell Laptops"

 

I replied "No it is a Notebook, I have a warrenty, Reciept, Serial Number and anything else you need"

 

Suffice to say it took 1 week of threats to get them to agree it was a notebook/laptop and was picked up for repair, I hope to get it back in 6 months time.

 

The Moral of these stories are Dont buy an extended warrenty. And dont shop in Dixons/PC World.

[yakkob 0]

Heh,

 

And, don't you forget about the excellent M.O.T. (Service) type thing they do @ PCWorld either!

 

Where you pay £40 and they 'supposedly' clean it of any viruses etc.

 

Another word for this 'vacuuming'!

[donald 0]

I call it rip-off, I have heared stories that they dont find anything and they miss odvious problems, and known viruses.