52 Sayings you'd like to see on office inspirational posters

[adamvjackson 0]

1) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

 

2) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

3) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

 

4) Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

 

5) Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

 

6) If you think we're a bad firm, you should see our rivals!

 

7) Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

 

8) We put the "k" in "kwality"

 

9) If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.

 

10) Artificial Intelligence in no match for Natural Stupidity

 

11) A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.

 

12) If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

 

13) ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.....

 

14) We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!

 

15) 2 days without a Human Rights Violation!

 

16) Your job is still better than asking "You want fries with that?"

 

17) We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile.

 

18) Plagiarism saves time.

 

19) We build great airplanes...when we feel like it or don't have any reason to call in sick. We're Boeing Machinists!!

 

20) Work slow, drive slow, think slow? You too can be a Boeing Machinist.

 

21) If at first you don't succeed - try management.

 

22) At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens.

 

23) Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

 

24) This can't go on for ever - Even the Third Reich only lasted 12 years

 

25) Never quit until you have another job.

 

26) TEAMWORK ... means never having to take all the blame yourself.

 

27) Work harder you slaves !

 

28) The beatings will continue until morale improves.

 

29) ANNOUNCEMENT: All directors and managers have been fired. Their salaries, offices, company cars and season tickets to sporting events will be given away in a lottery drawing this Thursday at 3:45pm. New office hours: Mon-Thur, 10am-4pm.

 

30) Every time I think I've hit rock bottom, somebody throws me a shovel.

 

31) If you can read this, you're not working!

 

32) If at first you don't succeed... DELEGATE

 

33) Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

 

34) "We waste time, so you don't have to"

 

35) Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

 

36) Go the extra mile - It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

 

37) Scum always floats to the top !

 

38) When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

 

39) Pride, commitment, teamwork - words we use to get you to work for free.

 

40) INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY

 

41) Succeed in spite of management.

 

42) Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment

 

43) We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.

 

44) Look on the bright side, at least your not working in the IRAQ tank brigade.

 

45) You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.

 

46) There is no I in 'TEAM' (But there is in 'Management Kiss-up')

 

47) Work; It isn't just for sleeping anymore

 

48) There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore

 

49) Be punctual, be loyal, and above all, never forget that "Manager" is an anagram for "Complete and Total Bastard"!

 

50) Two Drink Minimum

 

51) Department of Defense: We kill people - so you don't have to!!

 

52) It's only unethical if you get caught.

 

[size:9](Thanks, Felix...)[/color]

[sapiens74 0]

LMAO

 

funny stuff.

 

Liked the union ones especiialy

[adamvjackson 0]

I'll let you in on a secret, I found that list after googling for the phrase in Felix's other thread, with the desk photos.

[CUViper 0]

Despair.com has a bunch of similar slogans made up into posters:

http://www.despair.com/indem.html