If OS's were Beer. (Got in through email)

[EddiE314 0]

If Operating Systems were beer

 

DOS Beer:

 

Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the

directions carefully before opening the can.

Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can.

However, the can is divided into 8

compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be

discontinued, although a lot of

people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

 

Mac Beer:

 

At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered

by many to be a "light" beer. All the

cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The

ingredients list is not on the can. If you

call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to

know." A notice on the side reminds you to

drag your empties to the trashcan.

 

Windows 3.1 Beer:

 

The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac

Beer's. Requires that you already own a

DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers

simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a

few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows

Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for

apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

 

OS/2 Beer:

 

Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers

simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows

3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans

won't explode when you open them,

even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer,

but the manufacturer (International

Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

 

Windows 95 Beer:

 

You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and claim

it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac

Beer's can, but tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans,

but when you look inside, the cans

only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking

Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try

Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at

the small print, has some of the same

ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims that

this is an entirely new brew.

 

Windows NT Beer:

 

Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes

most people to have to go out and buy

bigger refrigerators. The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the

company promises to change the can to

look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95 beer starts shipping.

Touted as an "industrial strength" beer,

and suggested only for use in bars.

 

Unix Beer:

 

Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz.

Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand

loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost

identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off

when you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around

for those occasions, in which case

you either need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been

drinking Unix Beer for several years.

 

AmigaDOS Beer:

 

The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked up by

some weird German company, so

now this beer will be an import. This beer never really sold very well

because the original manufacturer didn't

understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an extremely

loyal and loud group. It originally

came in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was

originally introduced, it appeared

flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed much over the years, so

it appears dated now. Critics of this beer

claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.

 

VMS Beer:

 

Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping.

However cans have been known on

occasion to explode, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk

in high pressure development

environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients,

you're told that is proprietary and referred

to an unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that

this was once listed in the Physicians'

Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to have actually seen

it.

[Marchuz^ 0]

*LOL*

 

Cool...

 

 

 

------------------

Marchuz^

UIN: 42900735

marcus@fofso.net

[Mugen C 0]

Hey! This is one of the best thread I have seen....but where are the 98, 2K Beer?

 

regards,

Mugen C

 

 

 

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Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do!

[EddiE314 0]

its an old forward i got through e-mail, its a bit outdated, if you read the NT Beer it seems as though they are refering to NT 3.51

[pimpin_228 0]

nice ed

[Mr.Guvernment 0]

what would life be like with out the internet!..lol

[shassouneh 0]

A truly funny post. I'm glad I don't drink

[felix 0]

You know you read too much Dilbert when you have the folowing folders on your work desktop (real or virtual)

 

"Useless projects"

"Things I'd rather not do"

"Holiday Information"

"Job applications"